She
by Wondering Heart
Summary: She walked. There were the corridors and there were the students. There were the pictures, the ghosts, and the beautiful feeling of magic in the air... A series of short drabbles on TROC.


**She**

**A fanfiction/ficlet by a Wondering Heart**

**A/N: I had a dream a while ago, and Tom Riddle was in it. Most of this fanfic has been written at about 5 AM in the morning, so it will just be like a one-shot collection of VERY SHORT ficlets or drafts. I hope you like it… It shouldn't take long to read. Whether or not Tom was really in love with the girl of this story, and whether you choose to believe her interpretation of things, is entirely up to you.**

**Warnings: Wrote this while being sleepy, kind of dark, could not make sense, etc.**

She walked. There were the corridors and there were the students. There were the pictures, the ghosts, and the beautiful feeling of magic in the air. This would be her fifth year at Hogwarts. She was not a Prefect, not in the Quidditch Team, but the best of her year and a Ravenclaw.

She ignored the students as they walked, only looking ahead. There was a trance-like gaze on her face. There was always a trance-like gaze on her face. If she didn't have it, she would be living a lie, because everything that was her life was surreal.

She walked. She ignored the students. It was easier to relive thoughts of Arithmancy and Potions, Charms and Astronomy in her head instead. Not History of Magic, she found that subject to be annoying. Not Defense Against the Dark Arts, she had never been good enough there.

She walked, and as she walked, she saw him.

His name was Tom Riddle, she knew. He was a Prefect, a member of the Slug Club and very good at everything. That was about the only things she knew about him. He was now talking to the Defense the Dark Arts Professor, immersed in some sort of discussion. She wanted to, but she did not look at his direction while she passed him. She kept looking ahead instead.

* * *

She was in the library. Or maybe they were in the library, because Tom was there as well. She did not want to talk to him, so she took a seat away from him and all others instead.

* * *

"Excuse me." She said, and Tom turned around to look at her. He was coming down from his Astronomy lessons in the Astronomy Tower. She was going up for hers. The path was narrow, and there were far too many people with him for her to be able to pass.

"You're Lillian, aren't you?" He asked. He did not move. She wanted him to move, but he didn't. He was staring at her eyes instead.

"Yes, I am." She did not remember telling him the name.

He made a move for one of his friends to shift, and she walked in the space that friend had made. She did not remember telling him the name, but she also did not feel like she wanted to ask. That many people confused her.

* * *

They were in the Great Hall. It was too early for most students to be up yet. She always woke up at that hour. He, he had told her, couldn't sleep well that night. They were eating together in the Ravenclaw table, even though Tom was not a Ravenclaw. He had said he didn't feel like eating alone.

"And so you're a fifth year," he said.

"Yes." _And he is a sixth._

"How come you're not a Prefect? I thought you were the best in your year."

Did he? She did not remember saying anything about it. She had not even asked herself why she was not a Prefect. She thought it would be one of those things only sociable people could get elected for, and she by no means had any friends.

She stared at him. No real answer came to mind.

"So you don't know," he said. "I see."

They talked for almost an hour that day. He was nice.

* * *

She saw him again later that week. He was walking, all alone. The sun was setting down. They should be heading back to their Common Rooms.

She watched him as he turned a corner, and then followed him that way. He was not heading for the dungeons, where his Common Room should be.

There was a mirror hanging in one of the walls. She looked at it, and saw how Tom's eyes met hers back. Then he stopped and opened a door. He let the door open.

"Tom?" She asked into the room. It was dark, but she was certain she had seen him walk into it.

"What is it?" Said a voice, and she instantly recognized it as Tom's. He sounded annoyed, almost irritated…

"I just wanted to see if you were going to your Common Room." She said, but another good answer might have been that she had just wanted to see _him_.

"Obviously, I'm not."

"I see… You left the door open." She reminded him, not wanting him to forget just in case somebody else saw him.

"I left it that way."

"But someone might see you…" _And you're a prefect._

"Or I could have left it open for you. Maybe I wanted you to be nearby."

"But I have to get back to the Common Room."

"You can come back later."

"Alright, I will." She closed the door behind her as she left.

* * *

"Are you still here?" She asked. It was now Saturday and almost eight in the morning. She had allowed herself to go to breakfast and finish all her homework before coming into the room. She closed it behind her, and there was darkness again. Had the door been open all along? She had closed it. Did Tom open it?

"Yes, I am." Said Tom's voice.

"What are you doing here?" She asked. Why was this room so dark?

"What I do here isn't something for you to see."

"But then why did you ask me to come here?"

"I already told you. I want you nearby."

She gasped, feeling arms wrap around her as someone moved closer. It was Tom, and she knew it was Tom… There could be no one else in this room. Then she felt lips touching hers and for the first time in her life, she kissed back.

"Now go. I haven't finished what I'm doing here yet."

"But then why—"

"Go to the library and fetch me any book you can find on potions, then return here. I should be done by then."

"I—Alright," she agreed, and then lips met hers again before the hands let go of her. Something was melting in her chest, but she had no way of knowing what it was.

"I'll be waiting for you outside." Tom told her, and she opened the door and once more returned to the light.

_Potions…_Why would Tom want a book on Potions? He was a member of the Slug Club, he could just ask the Professor anything he wanted instead of looking for books.

She had read books on potions before. She knew where they were. But she would pretend not to remember in hopes that it would give him more time to finish. Her thoughts lingered back to their kiss—her first kiss—as her eyes searched the bookshelves.

* * *

"I came back," she said. Tom was waiting for her in the hallway. The door was no longer there.

"So you did," said Tom and he moved toward her. He vanished the books with his wand and pulled her close to him with his wandless hand. Something inside her chest and stomach ran in circles as he did so, then he pressed his lips against hers once again.

She soon would find out how easy it was to become addicted to those kisses.

"You will help me with what I'm doing," Tom said as he let go of her, and she felt like falling into him so he would hold her again.

"Of course I will."

* * *

That night, she did sleep, and her dreams consisted on Tom and his lips and the way he kissed her and…

* * *

"What are you doing here, Tom?" she asked into the darkness for the fourth time that night. The room had appeared once more; Tom had left the door open for her. She had started to think he was magic – real magic. She started to think that he was able to do any sort of thing without a wand, that this room only appeared because he made it so, that he was actually hers and that no one – _no one!_ – would be able to keep her away from this fantastic figment of her imagination.

"Drink this," Tom said, ignoring her question. He always, _always_ ignored her questions.

She drank the bottle immediately. It was another one of his potions, and it tasted awful. When she had finished, she heard him sigh.

"This one's no good either, is it?"

"I don't know."

"Then tell me, how do you feel now?"

"I feel like I am on top of the world and that nothing will stand against me and my creation."

Tom's vague silhouette then shook its head.

* * *

"The holidays are fast approaching, do you know that?" she asked. Today was one of rare occasions in which she saw him outside their room. He never touched her then.

"I know," he said. And they watched the snow together as it fell.

* * *

"I won't leave the school this holiday, mother. He needs me. I'm sorry." She said, as the Hogwarts Express hurried off the station.

* * *

"This one isn't useful either," she heard the darkness say. He was getting frustrated and she could tell. He sighed. "Can you keep a secret, Lillian? I'm trying to find ways to make it so I won't die."

This was the first time she heard his confession, and she moved closer to him so he would touch her and kiss her again.

He did.

They did something else that night.

* * *

"Tom?" The door was open, but her creation was nowhere to be found. She suddenly wished there was more lighting…

Then there was.

She could see now.

And there was blood. His blood, _her_ blood, on potions bottles and on strange symbols in the walls and in a diary and in her head… And then he came and it was dark again. She screamed. He got angry and hit her that night.

* * *

"I will kill myself," she said into the darkness. "There is knowledge beyond that veil we call death. If you bring me back, I could tell how to not die."

"But what if I don't bring you back? What if I can't?"

"You can. There is nothing in this world that you can't do anymore," she said. And it was true, because she had made him so.

"How will you do it?"

"I will jump from the Astronomy Tower. I will be closer to the stars on death than I ever was on life. And then you will bring me back." And then he will be real and they could get married and have children and people would actually _see_ her like they saw him and she would be real, too.

"You know, it's only the potions that make you think like this."

"Your potions have only taught me what was already a truth."

* * *

This was one of their last moments together. He kept touching her and kissing her and he wouldn't let go. She had wanted to jump now. How she regretted not doing it that night…

* * *

"I will be going soon." She was on the dark room again, next to Tom and on the floor. He was hugging her, his arms were around her and she felt his lips on the top of hear head.

"You wouldn't be the first to go because of me. But you are not doing me any favors by committing the murder yourself."

"Then what do you want me to do?"

"I will be the one to do it."

"And then you'll bring me back?"

"And then I'll bring you back."

* * *

"It's beautiful out here, Tom!" She exclaimed, laughing and smiling for the first time in years. The wind kept blowing on her hair and her robes; they were on the top of the Astronomy tower and she would be going tonight.

"Stand near the edge, so you'll fly once you die." Tom ordered her and she complied. Then he moved toward her and drew out his wand.

"I'll do it," she said. "I'll bring back the knowledge from the dead."

"I'm sure you will," he said and gave her one last, deep kiss. She kissed him back. They remained like this for a while, and then they broke apart.

"I love you, Tom," she whispered. This would be her goodbye.

"Goodbye, Lillian," Tom said. This would be his goodbye. Then he pointed his wand at her and said those deadly, deadly words, "Avada Kedavra"—and then she died.

She fell.

She flew.

And he never brought her back.

_Fin._

**Ending A/N: I never even bothered to describe the character of Lillian in full detail. xP**

**What you think of her personal appearance is up to you. I personally envision her as a dark-browned, straight haired girl with light grayish-green eyes. Maybe a little on the pale and thin side. Her personality is what I want to focus on here. She is, as you can see, kind of on the weird and insane type (I've gone so far as to consider her Luna-eske). She is very introverted and doesn't fit in well with others. Anything else you can make out of her from this fanfiction would be lovely, since I hardly know what I wrote myself. **

**Did Tom love her? I highly doubt it. This is the way I imagine Tom would act in order to get something from a girl, since he was supposed to be very handsome.**

**I sincerely hope you liked this story even a little. I can't say I'm sure I would, but I hope that it was at least not dreadful to you. Maybe good enough for a review? For you to take a few precious seconds of your life and comment on what could get better? Constructive criticism is always appreciated. **


End file.
